theglasschild:

do you ever cook something in the microwave but it’s still really cold in the middle and you just keep eating it instead of heating it longer because life is pointless and entropy is unavoidable and the universe is filled with callous and casual destruction

slumbermancer:

fruitsoftheweb:

Damage prediction on pears during transportation.

bad and naughty children get put in The Pear Wiggler to atone for their crimes

slumbermancer:

fruitsoftheweb:

Damage prediction on pears during transportation.

bad and naughty children get put in The Pear Wiggler to atone for their crimes

wankbankofamerica:

reasons i tend to not talk

  • people always interrupt me to tell another story because apparently my story isn’t good enough for their ears
  • i sound like an idiot who just learned to talk two hours ago
  • people seem disinterested in what i’m saying
  • i hate my voice
  • i have something really mean to say
  • i hate you
  • i repeat because this happens a lot: people interrupt me and never let me finish and i feel really shitty about myself because no one seems to want to listen to me
vagiskeletons:

my boss asked me to stop doing this

vagiskeletons:

my boss asked me to stop doing this

angrywocunited:

frantzofanon:

went to an American restaurant today!!!! ‘ello mate!!!!!! put forks in my hair to show my love for these Westerners’ food!!! Haha!!!!! Ha!!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha  !

#now all of you know how fucking ridiculous you look with chopsticks in your hair  #confucious didnt die for white people to put chopsticks in their hair (via)

tastefullyoffensive:

Animals Waving Hello to You [boredpanda]

Previously: Perfectly Timed Dog Photos

your-glasgow-smile:

"EXCUSE Me how dare u"

bogleech:

"I heart my car" she says as she pumps its hole full of love fluid, but their half-hearted smiles betray the truth. They’re just going through the motions, each silently wondering which will be the first to admit that the spark is gone.

lokislongluscioussantahat:

coll-of-the-haunted:

zelda-in-a-tutu:

impmon:

babyferaligator:

babyferaligator:

beginning of joke

image

image

i honestly dont understand this joke and its frustrating me

Well, I guess you’re missing the

image

image

 I do have a remarkable tendency to miss the Juicy Juice Hypotenuse.

Can we always call it that oh my god

Sync your iPhone to your laptop and download iOS 8 from iTunes, it won’t take up any memory. Reblog to save a life.